I was sat on the sofa drinking’ my lager, mindlessly flipping’ through channels on the tube.  
Me mam was busy in the kitchen, the aroma of corned beef and cabbage filled the air.
Why is she making’ such a fuss? Lord knows they don’t eat much these days, the coke fiends.
“Get the fookin’ door!”
“The fook you say! Me hands are full, you cunt!”
“Yer the cunt!”
“I don’t ‘ave the keys, I don’t live here, forget that ya dick!”
Of course, they’re fighting.
I make my way to the door, chewing my nails. Fuck.
“Don’t just stand in the doorway, give us a 'and!” Noel practically yelled; it was obvious Liam had already put him in one of his moods.
“'Ow ya been, Paul? Getting’ massive,” Liam said, walking in, patting me on the stomach. “Help our Noel with them luggage.”
“Why you let rkid get away with murder, 'ave 'im carry this shit,” I asked, but Noel just fell silent.
After the obligatory “hellos,” “you're too skinny!” hugs, and kisses from our mam she hurried back into the kitchen to finish supper, leaving me with Liam, Noel, and an awkward silence.
“You found any work, Bod?” Noel started.
Great, they’re really going to cut into me now, like always.
“Nah, Noely, see 'ere he’s got a job.”
“Yeah? Is that so?”
“He’s gotta taste all our mam’s cookin’.”
“Shut up, ya twat.”
“Oi!”
“Who are you callin’ a twat, you grave digger?”“Oi! Shut up, the both of you. Liam’s just jokin’! Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
“Man, I’m going to the bathroom,” and Liam shot Noel a little smile as he wiped his nose.
“Sit down, the lot of you, time to eat!”
Great a distraction.
“Take those things off at the table,” our mam motioned to Noel’s sunglasses. “You indoors!”
Noel reluctantly took his shade off and pocketed them.
“I’m gonna see where our Liam’s run off to, excuse me.”
After a few minutes they came back down, both Liam and Noel had red noses and watery eyes. Also, they couldn’t stop sniffing.
* * *
“You barely touched yer plates.”
“I told you, we ate on the plane.”
“Yeah, we 'ad them, what you call ems.”
“Um, yeah, like burgers,” Liam added with another sniff.
“Well, I expect you to eat a lot more tomorrow after you’ve rested, our whole family is coming to see us.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“It was delicious though,” and they both got up and kissed our mam, Noel even help with the dishes, probably out of guilt.
* * *
“Let’s get out of 'ere,” Noel said finally, bored of watching TV.
“Yeah, man, let’s some booze in us,” Liam concurred, he started to hop in his seat like a puppy wanting to go out for a walk.
“Where we goin’,” I made the mistake in asking.
“The fook says yer goin’?”
“Yeah we ain’t goin’ to MacDonald’s,” Liam added, smiling over to Noel, who looked pleased.
The only thing worse than them fighting was them getting along.
“We’re fookin’ around, geez, you’re moodier than Noel.”
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you back.”
“Alright, let’s go before we get into it again.”
* * *
Noel made a few calls, and we then kissed our mam and promised to be home at a decent time.
We waited outside for a while. Them two sharing a cigarette silently.
We climbed into a taxi, and off we went.
The ride was mostly silent, me sitting between the two. There was a bit of tension that was almost palpable. I just wanted to get out and get drunk already.
We drove not too far the some dive. “Not to high end they might recognize us.” Noel said, explaining why he chose just a shit hole to drink at.
“What a dump,” Liam complained. “No birds, it’s a sausage fest.”
I couldn’t help laughing in agreement, but Noel just frowned and shook his head.
“What I say, man?” Liam asked me, genuinely confused.
After a few rounds and awkward silences, save for Noel’s death glares at Liam,we started getting’ friendly, louder, and more talkative as we got drunker.
“So how was it?”
“Was what?” Noel said suspiciously.
“You know, goin’ all over the world, the birds, the drugs, the shit ya can’t talk about with our mam,” I said and was almost embarrassed for asking, sounding like a fan more than a brother. Which was accurate, I was a huge fan of them.
“I fooked about a 'undred birds man,” Liam began a bit sheepishly.
“The fook you 'ave ya liar.”
“Yer just mad coz you didn’t get laid once, you ponce.”
“For yer information I 'appen to have a bird back 'ome.”
“Is just and excuse to be a ponce.”
“How you go so long with out getting’ any?” I laughed at Noel.
“See 'ere, our Noel’s only got eyes for me,” Liam said, obviously very drunk. “He don’t fuck no birds if I’m around.”
“Shut up, Liam,” Noel said very seriously.
“Nah man, I mean like, you love me.”
“Liam…”
“You just wank to my picture in the shower,” Liam said, laughing a bit.
“Liam shut it.”
“I’m,” and he sat right next to Noel, almost whispering into his ear, “just fookin’ …with you.”
Noel became rather red in the face, but he eased up a bit.
“The drugs, man, they’re were massive amounts, man,” Noel began trying to change the subject while a very drunk Liam was staring at Noel lovingly hanging on to his every word. “There were times I thought me heart stopped, man, it was top!”
“Remember that one night we was on one of the buses and the cops searched the damn thing.”
“Yeah, me and rkid had to snort the lot of it!” Noel said, turning to Liam, placing his hand around his shoulder, bringing him close. “Rkid couldn’t talk straight for days. Not that you’d know it, he’s always talkin’ gibberish.”
“Hey, fook you,” Liam said, gently poking Noel in the ribs, to which he responded by poking him back.
“Stop it, ya madhead.”
“You stop, dickhead.”
“Wait till we get 'ome.”“What you going to do, eh, Noely?”
“Wait and see.”
“I’m so scared.”
“You should be.”
I felt strange, like I was watching something I shouldn’t. It had always been like this between them, weird and just a bit, erm, not right. I didn’t want to think much of it, so I stuck to drinking. Unfortunately, so did those too, and eventually we were all pissed drunk and stupid.
“It’s 'alf past five; our mam will kill us.”
“She can’t sayshitimamannow,” Liam slurred, still drinking.
Noel was so plastered he was actually smiling, listening to some Muddy Waters song that had come on.
“Get up, you two.”
I tried to help Liam up, but Noel and Liam shooed me away, Noel frowning, picking up Liam himself and Liam putting his arm over him, both wobbly and leaning on each other.
“Noel, carry me.”
“Shut up.”
“Carry me.”
“Yer too heavy.”
“You used to carry me, remember when you carried me up the starirs when I was afraid the lights went out?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“I’m not so big, c'mon,” and Liam tried putting his leg around Noe’s waist, sending them both crashing on the wet pavement outside.
Rather than see them punch each other, they were laughing, and I couldn’t help but laugh too.
“C'mon, give us a kiss,” Liam started to try to kiss Noel, and Noel tried desperately to hold his face back, laughing the whole time.
The can had pulled up, and they were still on the ground struggling, so I decided to try to pry Liam away from Noel.
“Get off me, man,” Liam tried to take a swing at me and missed.
“Get in the car, you’re pissed!”
I shoved Liam into the car and helped pick up Noel, who was still on the ground laughing.
“Where you goin’ Noel, home?”
“Nah man, I’m too fucked, Louise will have a fit.”
“Louise will have a fit,” Liam mimicked.
“Shut up.”
“You shut up.”“Okay, we’re goin’ home.”
“Scared of yer bird are you?”
“Shut up about her.”
“You shut up about her!”“Shut up, Liam, don’t start!”“Ya both shut up, man, stop it!”
There was a silence the rest of the way.
* * *
“You kippin’ on the couch, Noel?” I asked as we went inside.
“Nah, I’m sleepin’ in me old room.”
“But there’s only one bed now.”
Noel rubbed his eyes and continued on upstairs to his old room.
“Night, Paul,” Liam said, giving me a kiss on the cheek as he followed behind Noel, and then the door shut.
I went to my room, too tired and drunk to take my clothes off, and collapsed on the bed.
The light sound of talking and movements was familiar and soothing to me, everyone was back under one roof like before. I closed my eyes and started to drift off until the sound of a rhythmic thump came from next door. I clumsily put my ear to the wall. I could make out faint talking and other noises.
Nah, it couldn’t be.
Then I laid there in bed until it had stopped and finally fell asleep.
* * *
In the afternoon I woke up and rolled out of bed. They were already up and in the backyard, kicking the football around.
“There he is; we’ve been waiting!”“Yeah, c'mon, man!” Liam said, Kicking the ball at me rather hard.
It was all smiles and laughs, and for a few hours we could pretend to be a normal family.