Noel sat in his living room lazily smoking a cigarette.
It was one of those rare occasions he actually got time to spend time with the missus but the way she was nagging those long hours on the road were starting to look good.
“Another thing, she invited us to this thing weeks ago, I thought I told you and now you tell me your not going? How will I look showing up alone?”
Noel watched his wife sitting crossed legged on the hearth rug, vodka in one hand, gossip column in the other. She was still talking but Noel wasn’t exactly listening.
“Hello?” she said waiving her hand around. “Are you not gonna say a word?”
“Listen I don’t want to be seen around all these posh parties with your lot..”
“My lot?” Meg said indignantly, taking another swig of her drink. “Like your friend are any better. Honestly sometimes I think…”
“Sometimes you think what?” and he took a long drag off his cigarette.
“Nothing..” she turned he head down flipping through the tabloid.
“Yeah me too.”
“What?”
“Pass me the new NME, I think it’s on the kitchen counter under the mail.”
“Only if you say please.”
“Please,” Noel said through a grimace.
Meg got up and made a shaky walk to the kitchen, Noel shaking his head behind her.
Noel sat there numb. He felt like shit and although he loved Meg he felt something was missing. He didn’t feel it, at least not anymore.
Noel shook his head at himself and told himself all couples go through a period of adjustment, Meg was just in a bad mood, he was being selfish etc. He did love her he reminded himself again.
“Look! Your Liam made the cover again,” she said sitting down next him, passing him the magazine. “How come you haven’t been on the cover after all you do write..”
“Shut up will ya.”
Meg rolled her eyes.
“I’m going for a swim, I don’t like the atmosphere in here,” she said getting up, finished her drink and left.
Noel was left alone with the magazine. Liam’s mug staring back up at him. Noel stared.
His big beautiful eyes, those long lashes that went on and on, that mischievous glint, his beautiful hair gently tousled, those plump lips, that jawline.
What the fuck is wrong with me he pondered.
He opened the magazine and turned to the article on Liam. More pictures. Liam smiling, Liam fighting, Liam doing what he did best, singing. Noel couldn’t help but stare at Liam and his microphone. His large mouth opened, ready and willing. His saliva.
Noel shuddered. What the fuck is wrong with me.
He then saw a small picture of the band. Bonehead, Guigs, Alan and himself. What an ugly cunt he thought observing himself.
Another picture, this time of Liam and Patsy, kissing. Her hand gently touching his unshaven cheek.
Stupid Liam and his stupid beard.
He turned back to the cover and continued to stare.
God why did he have to be so beautiful?
Then he turned back to the page with Liam and his microphone.
He thought how warm his mouth must feel, how rough and hot his lips were, and how the saliva resembled another bodily fluid.
Fuck. He could feel himself grow hard.
He got up and looked around. Meg was still no where to be seen.
He took the magazine and retreated I to his master bathroom.
He sat at the edge of the tub and put the magazine on the floor. He unzipped his pants and took a deep breath.
God I’m so pathetic.
Still looking at the picture of Liam he started to stroke himself. Imaging Liam there with him on his knees.
Fuck.
He imagined running his hands in his hair, that beautiful hair, and placing his hand where Patsy had the fortune to place her hand. On his cheek.
That fucking bearded cheek of his.
Fucking shit.
He imagined how Liams beard would tickle as he went all the way down to the base, taking in all of Noel in his mouth.
Noel bit back a moan.
Fucking hell. Fucking pathetic.
He imagined Liam moaning. Juices dribbling out of the sides of this mouth, down his beautiful chin.
It was becoming too much for Noel to take.
He took another look at the picture and closed his eyes, stroking faster, faster,].
Fucking shit, Liam.
After he came and washed his hands he sat on the toilet, feeling quite ashamed, alone and just a bit empty.
Knock knock knock.
Noel jumped up so fast he almost tripped on the bath mat.
“What the fuck are you doing in there?”
“Nothing, I’m getting out.”
Noel picked up the magazine and unlocked the door.
:What are you doing in here dear?” Meg said clearly more inebriated then Noel last saw her. :and why you carrying that magazine with you to the loo?”
“Can’t a man take a shit in his own house and not get the third degree?” Noel joked.
“She took his face in both her hands and gave him a kiss.
God she reeks.
“What’s wrong?” she said noticing Noel’s glum and pale face.
“Nothing,” he said returning the kiss, “I love you you know.”
Meg laughed in his face bit after seeing Noel’s face ashen she straitened up.
“I love you too.” Meg smiled.”So..”
“So what?” Noel said leading her towards the bedroom.
“Are we or are we not going to the party?”
“I dunno, who else is gonna be there? Anyone I care about that is?”
“Well Liam and patsy for one, please?” she said looking up at him with a pouty lip.
“Alright, but only o show up Liam and Patsy,we’re a better looking couple anyway.”
Meg smiled and gave Noel another more deeper kiss and walked into their room, leaving Noel in the hallway.
Alone again.